January is often associated with New Year’s resolutions, change and the start of something new. New year, new opportunities. New year, new me. Sometimes people go all in and we make promises to almost reinvent ourselves in the year to come. Maybe we say that we’re going to start working out every day, start with a strict diet or maybe something completely different. Maybe we’re feeling super pumped initially, but then we’re losing the motivation after having missed one workout session or in a moment of weakness stuffed our faces with junk food.
Do you tend to fall into the trap of making a New Year resolution that you can’t keep? Have you ever thought of why you might not succeed? Do you create your NY resolutions according to what you feel like the social norm is telling you that you should do or how you should be like or do you create them because they mean something and feel important to you? Why is it important to you? The chance of you keeping your promise increases if you know your why regardless what others think. Why do YOU want to keep that promise? Is your answer something like “because my partner thinks I should lose a few kg”, “because my doctor said that I should start exercising” or is it “because I want to feel more energized and healthy in order to enjoy life more”. It doesn’t matter how many times someone else says that you should do this or that as long as you don’t realize why it would be worth it yourself. Not until you see more pros about changing and more cons about sticking to the old pattern. Humans are naturally lazy and really like staying in the comfort zone so it takes quite a lot of effort in order for us to make a change.
Personally I think that a “NY resolution” sound so rigid and final so I prefer to use “creating new habits”, because basically that’s often what we do and new habits can be created anytime throughout the year regardless if it’s January or December. I doubt that you’ve planned to start exercising this year just to stop doing it by the end of the year. I hope you do it in order to create a healthy lifestyle so that you can feel good even after 2022 is over. Creating healthy habits doesn’t happen overnight or even over a week. Habits are created by small changes that you fit into your everyday life and really make sure that you do regularly. Better to walk to and from work every day than totally exhausting yourself once at the gym.
Another reason why I prefer “creating new habits” rather than make a “NY resolution” is that a habit is easier to adapt once you get started and see how you go. You can really customize it just for you. Maybe you set the bar a tad too high initially? Okay, let’s start lower. Do you after a few days realize that you really don’t want to get up that early? Fine, do it in the evening instead. The thing with new habits is that you make them work for you, your wishes and your needs. That your WHY is YOURS and no one else’s.
In 2021 I created a new habit, a new morning routine. I’ve always enjoyed sleeping as long as I can in the morning, so getting up earlier than I actually have to has never been on my radar before. Last summer I decided to start meditating for 10 minutes every morning (work days) followed by listening to a podcast while having breakfast. Starting my day with some peace and quiet, deep breathing and inspiration turned out to be such a lovely start of the day that I’ve kept that habit until this day. If I would’ve thought that “sometime during the day I’m going to meditate” there is a big risk I would’ve forgotten throughout the day or maybe I would remember it late at night, but feel too tired and say to myself that ”Oh I’ll just do it tomorrow instead”. That’s why it’s so much better to decide on a specific time of day for your new habit, or that you do it just before or after an already existing one, for example after brushing your teeth, to remember it more easily. Recently I found out that it’s called “habit stacking”, which I thought was a pretty suitable name for it. Another tip is to draw a red X in your calendar for every time you’ve completed your new habit, then you won’t want to break the pattern. For every time you’ve done your thing, completed your daily goal and maybe drawn a red X in your calendar, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment and every time you’ll strengthen your self-trust because you kept that promise to yourself. So if nothing else goes your way and everyone lets you down that day, at least you know that you can always trust yourself.
When it comes to creating new habits I strongly believe in the power of the little things. Start so small that it won’t feel like a big deal initially, but stick to it. If you start off too intensely there’s a risk you give up quicker, but if you start small you can increase the intensity/time spent on your new habit. I recently heard in a podcast that we should start acting like the person we want to be and according to our values, instead of focusing too much on the end goal. So if you want to be a person that works out regularly, make sure you do that even though you might feel too tired or like you don’t have enough time. Set up a minimum goal to work out for 4 minutes and if you then still feel too tired or like you don’t have time, at least you went for a few minutes and you start building on your image as “a person who works out”. Often we don’t stop after 4 minutes, but that’s what’s needed to get started and create a momentum and often it makes us keep going for a while longer, but every minute after that is a bonus. Same thing if you want to start journaling or write a book. Set up a minimum goal to write 2 sentences daily. Only 2 sentences, anyone can do that. Imagine how much you will write in a year.
[The photo is taken on a cold winter’s day close to where I grew up]
As a mental coach I can help you when it comes to your goals and creating new habits, everything from helping you to define your goal to how you’ll get there. I’m also an encouraging motivator along the way that hold you accountable for doing the work. If you have questions or want to book an appointment please don’t hesitate to contact me. I’d love to hear from you.