I`ve been thinking about starting this blog for a long time, but somehow I`ve postponed it until now. It’s been about ten years since I started my first blog. It was at that time when I had just graduated from my 12th year of high school and was about to move abroad (and away from home) for the first time in my life. In that blog I wrote about my life as an au pair in Australia where I mostly focused on what I did, experienced and what places I visited, but this time I would like to focus more on internal journeys and personal development. All the things that happen, but you don't always see.
It's happened a lot in ten years. I have, as I previously mentioned, worked as an au pair and travelled Australia. I've completed a physiotherapy degree in Helsinki. I`ve been in relationships and lived life as a single person. I`ve been an exchange student and done a clinical placement in Canada. I`ve done a clinical placement and worked in Wales. I`ve worked in and travelled to New Zealand. In addition to this I`ve also travelled to a number of countries in different parts of the world and I`ve created memories and friends for a lifetime. In July this year I`ve been back in Finland for two years, which is the longest I've been inside the country's borders since I was little. During this time I`ve been working as a physiotherapist, spent lots of quality time with family and friends and lived in a small apartment in Jakobstad, which is a small town about 20 minutes from my childhood home.
During these ten years I've also had moments of depression, anxiety and PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). I`ve felt lost, lonely, inadequate and worthless. My self-esteem has hit rock bottom. I`ve been ashamed of not feeling okay, which has made it hard to ask for help because I didn't want to burden others with my problems since it appeared I had everything that I needed. I`ve denied and made light of my mental health struggles, both to myself and others which has led to my body occasionally revolting in the form of pain and other bodily issues. My family and closest friends knew that I wasn't feeling great, but not even they knew exactly how much I was struggling, not until I told them. Often it's hard to understand how such a cheerful and positive person also can feel so down at the same time.
So the last ten years have included both ups and downs for me, but a massive turning point happened during this corona-pandemic. It forced me to really stop. Forced me to stay in the discomfort without escaping into the world. To stay in the silence allowing myself to really listen to what my body was trying to tell me. Stay in one place for long enough to allow myself to really take the time to work on myself. Value myself enough to accept help from others. This is when personal development and mental training really crossed my path of life and I’m so extremely grateful for all the progress I've made thanks to my mental coach and all the new insights I've gained through books, podcasts and people around me. Today I can proudly say that I really like myself, which I honestly still wasn't able to do a year ago.
The pandemic is still far from over and at this time I'm sure I`m not the only one getting sick of it, but at the same time I feel so grateful for it. Grateful that it made me stop when I really needed to and literally didn't let me escape when things got ugly. So that I could take the first steps towards becoming the best version of myself, which is and continues to be a work in progress.
My aim with this blog is to show you who struggle with your mental health that you can become a happy, grateful and content human being. If I can, you can too! But the blog is also for those who know someone struggling with mental health and for those who are interested in personal development, mental training and coaching.
Welcome along on the journey.
