Being kind is taught already at a very young age. You should be kind to other people and animals and you should play nicely with your toys to not break them. I also learned at a very young age, about other views of the world and potential underlying reasons why somebody wasn’t being kind to me. This is probably part of the reason why I became quite an empathetic person. A person who tries her best to be kind and have a will to understand people and their behavior. I understand that everything isn’t black or white and sometimes we make mistakes, good people can do bad things, but I’ve also learned that sometimes second chances are not worth giving.
In the book “The Art of Being Kind” Stefan Einhorn talks about kindness. Our ethical principles, our reason, our conscience, our empathic ability and our fellow human beings are used as tools to succeed in this noble art, that practically may be quite difficult. In the book he also compares true kindness with false kindness, where false kindness refers to not being able to speak up for yourself or disregard your own need in order to please others. He also questions several sayings that we often use in our everyday communication, for example “It’s the thought that counts”, saying that it really isn’t the thought that counts, rather the action you take, which I think is a good point. It’s nice to think how your friend has such a wonderful singing voice, but if you never tell her she’ll never know. And it’s very considerate to think about giving your neighbor a call to check on him since he just recently lost a loved one, but if you don’t pick up the phone it won’t matter.
Helping others gives us a feeling of joy and means that our brain gets a dopamine rush. So helping others really makes us feel good. This is something I’m lucky getting to experience pretty much every day in my work as a physiotherapist, especially with my elderly clients. There is so much you can do for the elderly to brighten their day. Giving them your time, consideration, making them laugh and simply just see them. I’ve had clients that completely lost their zest of life and even said that they wish to die because of their poor physical condition and loneliness. Deep down I know that there’s not much I can do for their physical state, but I can always do something and that is to just be there for them, just being a good human being. Show understanding, compassion and make them feel seen and worthy. The feeling of making such a person smile is worth its weight in gold.
Being generous without expecting anything in return is also considered as being kind. Everybody might not afford offering to pay here and there in order to pay rent and fill their own fridge, but being generous can mean so many other things than just being generous with your money. Being generous can mean giving a lot of encouragement, praise and feedback. It can also mean asking others for advice and at the same time letting others learn from us within the area of our expertise. You can also be generous by being open about your imperfections and being able to feel happy about others’ accomplishments. Simply to share without giving anything away and that’s free.
Being kind has for the most part of my life meant being kind to others, but somewhere along the way I realized how important it is to be kind to myself just as much. Because if I don’t take care of myself I can’t take care of others. Like how they during the safety instructions on an airplane tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping other passengers. Being kind to myself means to sometimes say no to others in order to say yes to myself and my needs and sometimes it’s about choosing for myself firstly even though it might not make others happy. Saying this I don’t mean to only be kind to yourself and forget about others, what I’m saying is to be kind to yourself AND to others. Kind actions create ripples on the water. Kindness spreads easily and will sooner or later come back to you. Being kind makes the world a better place. So be kind to yourself and to others, it really pays off.
“In a world where you can be anything – be kind.”
[The photo is taken at Jasper National Park, Canada on a road trip I did with a friend after my student exchange]