They say that your 20’s are for discovering who you are and who you want to become. Finding out what you like and don’t like. What makes you feel good and what doesn’t. What kind of people you enjoy spending time with and what kind you prefer not having around too much. During these years I’ve been searching for myself. Searching for a place I truly belong, both figuratively and physically, but I’va also been searching for my inner voice. I’ve realized that for many years I’ve limited myself, unconsciously put myself in a box to fit in and allowed social norms to influence me more than I’d like to admit. Maybe not allowed them to influence and control my behaviour, but definitely to influence my way of thinking and feeling and therefore making things more difficult than needed.
My highly sensitive trait that makes it easy for me to sense mood and subtle signals from others has previously led to me sometimes having a hard time to differentiate between the thoughts and feelings that are mine and the ones that belongs to others. This can make you feel very confused when not aware of it and can make you loose yourself and the idea of what you truly want in life. It also happens easily that you feel what others think you should do and then do it just to oblige. It’s easy to forget to listen to that inner voice, the one who knows what you need. It’s hard to live up to something you’re not. Hard to not be connected with your true self, especially when you don’t even know why.
The norm in a small community is often to meet someone, move in together, have kids, build a house and of course you are to have a permanent job. I don’t tick any of these boxes. Obviously I dream about finding someone to share my life with, but the more I let go of these norms, the less they affect me in a negative way. The more I realize that my identity doesn’t have to fit into a box, the better I feel. I choose who I want to be and I can develop, change and expand my identity however I like. There is so much to discover, so much to be curious about when learning what really sparks my soul. Just let my intuition guide me once all those loud norm-voices are quiet and I can really listen.
Exploring yourself can be kind of like exploring a castle, if you limit yourself to just a small part or if most of the doors are locked, you’ll miss out on so much. Those locked doors may symbolize different limits you’ve put on yourself or let others put on you. Maybe you’ve gotten the idea that you’re not a creative person, so you never gave creation a shot. That you don’t have what it takes to be an entrepreneur, so you never made the effort to find out how to do it. Or maybe you choose what is safe and what’s expected of you to not stand out and be different.
The keys to unlock those doors in your inner castle may be that you discover that creating gives you a massive amount of joy once you let go of the act of performance. That you realize that there are all kinds of entrepeneurs out there and that you can find a way that suits you and your needs. Or that you follow that inner voice and do that thing you’ve always dreamed of, because we only have one life and there is no way you’ll let it slide just like that without making the most out of it.
We humans have all the power to change and create positive changes in our lives. (Read my post about Brainplasticity and Mindset) It’s amazing how much can happen just by a shift in mindset and tiny, tiny habits that gets you going in the right direction. I’ve experienced this shift in myself and I’ve opened doors I didn’t know existed. That doesn’t mean that all my problems suddenly vanished, but I’ve become so much better at handling them and now life just feels more meaningful and filled with possibilities.
[The photo is from Lynn Canyon, BC, Canada, 2016)
Do you want to create a positive change in your life, but don’t know what it is or how to start? Then maybe coaching would be something for you. Together we can find that out and bring you closer to your goals. Contact me and we’ll book in your first session.